Personally, I think my word for 2018 will be winner and that’s because I believe a winner isn’t declared without going through a task, mostly challenging.
My year started with the second semester of my post-graduate degree. I have been studying since September 2017 and this didn’t end as earlier as imagined. I literally studied all through 2018. Apart from education, this year was really indeed my year of “Real Adulting”. Yes, I left the teen category a long time ago but was I ready to start taking big decisions? No. This year alone, I went through a depression period for over 2 months, click here to read my depression story and how I got out of it.
A long year of study to pass all my modules, trying to balance that with my part-time job but also stressing my self on how and what to do with myself after this degree. I was lost, uncertain and of course extremely scared of the nearest future. In addition to all these was a ‘Not-so-great’ relationship with an ex extremely obsessed about marriage. Don’t get me wrong, I do want to get married someday but was I close to being ready? Heck Nope. I barely have few pounds to my account, my part-time job was literally giving me enough to sustain daily as a lady due to low hours, I was mentally not ready to start thinking or planning for such commitment because I already have so much on my plate to deal with.
I thought things were getting better after handing in my dissertation and now, I said to myself: “Time to get back to blogging and enjoy life after University” in July until I got the shocker of the year.
I failed my business finance module!
It’s a core module which simply means passing it is a MUST. I didn’t see that coming at all. The whole anxiety kicked in and knock me off real bad. Although, I was still very much active online but, a lot was going on in the background. Come September and it’s time to resit the exam. After several months of revising a module I sincerely don’t understand, with the help of YouTube tutorials and considering this is the only chance one gets to re-sit a post-graduate exam, I thought I was finally going to get over this. I studied hard, I tried every tip found online to understand the module but guess what?
I failed my business finance module AGAIN! [The second time]
I mean, considering that until my post-graduate degree, the last time I did anything close to financing which is Mathematics was in high-school and knowing my weakness with numbers/academic calculations; I thought failing once was acceptable but not twice. I was disappointed in myself, my morale was low and I almost gave up on education.
But this time, I consciously made up my mind not to be broken again. Immediately after receiving the bad news, I ask myself, what are the chances of getting another, hopefully last resit?
Can I say in between this, I was still living life and oh, I started my new job in November with more pressure to impress at work just like every other time you start something new. I ran to the student/exam help centre in University, ask all necessary questions and boom, I might still have a chance of re-sitting.
I need to first write a letter explaining why I think I am struggling with the module, why I failed it and why I should be given a chance. Now, your chances of getting a re-sit this time depend on the board of exam which you have to face at a scheduled time/date [Mine was Nov 13th]. To save you all the long story, December 13th, I finally did my exam again for the 3rd time after daily revision of 2-3hours after my 9-5 job. Hectic was an understatement during this period. But hopefully, end of February 2019 will be a good period for me – My result will be out then].
I know you are probably wondering why I am sharing all these even before getting the result. I mean it’s safe to wait to see if I pass or fail [By God grace I will pass] before sharing the struggle because of “what people might say or think of me”. Starting this post, I myself didn’t intend to share but I guess I am just going with the flow simply because this is my truth. My academic journey is part of me either pass or fail but it doesn’t define me or who I eventually become in life. I am more than every grade or result I get from University. Of course, I pray I pass but this same 2018 that looks terrible has been extremely good to me. In less than a month after submitting my dissertation, I got my job which I love. Not the highest paying for my experience and academic but I love my team, the company and I believe its a GREAT start for my career. This same year, I reconnected with the love of my life after 3 years [Mr A – although, we’ve always talked after I broke up with him in 2014 *Roll eyes]. My family and I are in good health and live in pure love/peace and harmony. In addition to that, I have wonderful friends who stuck by me through everything [@beautyandbrushes, @jenniferamani] these ladies were surely sent to me by God! And of-course Mr A [Strongest support ever these past months] and few people who helped me academically.
I am happy, at peace and still working on my faith – I am blessed!
WOW, that was such a long read but if you get to this stage, I want to say a big thank you for being part of my 2018! Thank you for the love, comments, engagement, taking time to read and most especially hanging around. I didn’t have a juicy 2018 but I am extremely thankful. I wish you a wonderful New Year ahead! Voila, that’s my 2018!
Cheers to a consistent weekly post on here in 2019 [Every Saturday].Don’t forget to leave a comment below. Tell me what you think about today’s post. I can’t wait to read your comment and response of-course! Do follow me @itsmaryamsalam on Instagram.
Remember, with God, you can overcome every situation. You are stronger than you thought and do not let a bad situation define your future!